If you've ever heard the phrase, "A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still," then you know what comes next... passive aggression. While I should not be baffled by passive aggressive behavior, I will admit I am. Though I try my best to ask for candid feedback, very few people will tell me all...even those that love me. It seems the only people that will tell you the honest (albeit raw) truth are those who have no problem telling you off, often in colorful language.
The passive aggressive (PA) might be doing the same "telling off" only in a thought bubble, but this can make them hard to recognize. I'm not talking about the people whom you've badgered into buying your used car that never show up to pay for it. I'm not even talking about the people who agree to help you then never get around to it. I'm referring to those that tell you nicely to your face that they are in alignment with your position, then go out and agree with your opposition, even if they know you will find out.
In my denial I also refuse to admit the PA has it in for me. I chalk it up to miscommunication, so I will repeat the interaction to better understand why this person is not aligned any more. I try to understand the position of the other person...perhaps I am missing something from my perspective. Is it possible this person doesn't know they disagree?
I'll just say this outright: passive aggression is dishonest, and there is nothing diplomatic about it. If you think that not speaking up when you disagree somehow makes you a more pleasant person, we'd better agree to disagree right now. The jig is up. We "directs" recognize you are communicating like a mime in the dark, and we will continue to take you at face value anyway. We will be aggressively passive, heap all sorts of kindness on your head and even dare you to tell the truth with a wink. Feel free to stop trying to be a diplomat any time. We can take it.
The passive aggressive (PA) might be doing the same "telling off" only in a thought bubble, but this can make them hard to recognize. I'm not talking about the people whom you've badgered into buying your used car that never show up to pay for it. I'm not even talking about the people who agree to help you then never get around to it. I'm referring to those that tell you nicely to your face that they are in alignment with your position, then go out and agree with your opposition, even if they know you will find out.
In my denial I also refuse to admit the PA has it in for me. I chalk it up to miscommunication, so I will repeat the interaction to better understand why this person is not aligned any more. I try to understand the position of the other person...perhaps I am missing something from my perspective. Is it possible this person doesn't know they disagree?
I'll just say this outright: passive aggression is dishonest, and there is nothing diplomatic about it. If you think that not speaking up when you disagree somehow makes you a more pleasant person, we'd better agree to disagree right now. The jig is up. We "directs" recognize you are communicating like a mime in the dark, and we will continue to take you at face value anyway. We will be aggressively passive, heap all sorts of kindness on your head and even dare you to tell the truth with a wink. Feel free to stop trying to be a diplomat any time. We can take it.
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