Way back in the stone age, I was told that when someone was pushing the boundaries of physical affection on a date I should be sure and say "no" if they were starting to do something I did not want. The phrase, "no answer means yes" was the short way of stating this advice. So it seems that in the vacuum of response some of us will just forge ahead.
When to seek permission/alignment is another topic, but when you go to the trouble of asking for input or approval, not getting an answer creates the temptation to move to second base. One of the most challenging tasks of any job is stating your need in the right format at the right time when that person is in exactly the right frame of mind....to get the response you desire.
We all know what happens most of the time. You pick the wrong format... you send an email that gets ignored. Or in the email, you thought it would be helpful to give the background on the request and your intended target fell into a coma before reading all of it and didn't see the question. Or you ask them in the elevator and they say "yes" so quickly that in the back of your mind you KNOW they did not understand what they just committed to... and will have no memory of it. Or, my favorite, they simply changed their mind after your conversation and email and neglected to tell you of the shift in position.
It can feel like you've become a Who from Whoville when all is silent. Our lively imaginations kick in to create self-involved activity in the void: they don't like us any more; or they are mad at us for that thing we failed to do last month. We are programmed to desire a response. I can see you're trying not to be the little kid in the back seat asking "are we there yet?" every five minutes, but you want to, don't you?
The worst silence of all is when it feels like silence from Above. No matter how well honed our "walking by faith" skills have become, if we are walking at all we will encounter seasons where we simply do not know what to do. It's as if our fleece has disappeared in the morning, never mind whether it had dew on it or not (Judges 6:36-40).
If you know what I mean you understand how frustrating such seasons can be, though we should feel privileged to experience them. It is, after all, His invitation to seek Him in a deeper place. Waiting is a verb. It means you sometimes need to keep pursuing the person and not make a move on your "thing" until you have clarity and a response.
When to seek permission/alignment is another topic, but when you go to the trouble of asking for input or approval, not getting an answer creates the temptation to move to second base. One of the most challenging tasks of any job is stating your need in the right format at the right time when that person is in exactly the right frame of mind....to get the response you desire.
We all know what happens most of the time. You pick the wrong format... you send an email that gets ignored. Or in the email, you thought it would be helpful to give the background on the request and your intended target fell into a coma before reading all of it and didn't see the question. Or you ask them in the elevator and they say "yes" so quickly that in the back of your mind you KNOW they did not understand what they just committed to... and will have no memory of it. Or, my favorite, they simply changed their mind after your conversation and email and neglected to tell you of the shift in position.
It can feel like you've become a Who from Whoville when all is silent. Our lively imaginations kick in to create self-involved activity in the void: they don't like us any more; or they are mad at us for that thing we failed to do last month. We are programmed to desire a response. I can see you're trying not to be the little kid in the back seat asking "are we there yet?" every five minutes, but you want to, don't you?
The worst silence of all is when it feels like silence from Above. No matter how well honed our "walking by faith" skills have become, if we are walking at all we will encounter seasons where we simply do not know what to do. It's as if our fleece has disappeared in the morning, never mind whether it had dew on it or not (Judges 6:36-40).
If you know what I mean you understand how frustrating such seasons can be, though we should feel privileged to experience them. It is, after all, His invitation to seek Him in a deeper place. Waiting is a verb. It means you sometimes need to keep pursuing the person and not make a move on your "thing" until you have clarity and a response.
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